Casually Kristen

GREELEY, Colorado — No “fowl” play expected. The Greeley Police Department wants to ensure its citizens are safe… from TURKEYS!

You heard that right. The town has been inundated by turkeys! On its Facebook page, the police department gave a sarcastic, albeit hilarious, warning.

It reads:

“We have received numerous calls in the last week or so about a new group of hooligans galavanting and ambulating about the metropolis getting up to all kinds of shenanigans and tomfoolery!

We created this wanted poster to make you all aware of their presence in our community. One is an actual photo of one of the suspects and the other is a rendering that our new sketch artist did (he is also our PIO) .

Why the Great Turkey Invasion of 2022? Why not ? Let’s just get it all out of the way. If we were to guess, it probably has something to do with the Geese flying southand the turkeys just can’t get into the slip stream .

They probably heard about all our local parks ? Or our robust downtown area that has many great restaurants and shops? Maybe even our university ? Whatever the reason they stopped off, can you blame them?

They’ll probably be on their way soon. But again we don’t know, we didn’t study Turkology in school.

Either way, sometimes they get angry so just give them space and be careful when driving. We’ll see them again in about 8 months..”

Residents find the whole thing completely amusing. Stacy Brown responded, writing, “There was a gang of them on our roof, looking into our window about a week ago. Would that mean they were peeping “Toms”?!! 

Another neighbor, Dani Russell, shared. “They’re always around my neighborhood! They will walk up and chat with my kitties through the windows! It’s so cute! I love it!!!”

Meanwhile, local Karen Scopel has a theory, “These are descendants of fugitives relocated to Greeley in a witness protection program by Colorado Parks and Wildlife about 20 years ago. They came from Hugo Colorado and were originally released near the Poudre Trail. True story.”

Apparently, they are causing some roadblocks though! Jennifer Smith writes, “Ya my husband encountered one at King’s on 35th. I guess it was standing in the road where you turn in in front of the vape juice place and so someone was stopped and my husband was like wtf so he honked at the guy not knowing why he was stopped and the guy told him so he got out of the car and yelled at the poor thing to move! Just glad he did not have his gun because he may have just brought it home and I am sure been ticketed for firing it within city limits haha!”

Per the post, if you’re worried about this invasion, call 1-800-Ghostbusters.